Random Thoughts

• I think black licorice is a joke on the part of candy companies, because it tastes less like candy, and more like nasty crap.


• Don't talk to me in the restroom. My list of "People I Talk to While My Pants Aren't On" is short, and you are not on it.


• Fake sugar would be a better idea if it tasted anything like real sugar.


• The best place to stand and chat in a large group is the narrowest part of the hallway. Oh wait.


• I don't hate haircuts, I just hate small talk. And people.


• Are all Scientologists celebrities?

• Put your Confederate flag away. The Confederacy stood for crappy things like slavery and secession. Plus you lost.

• Contrary to popular belief, I am not a complete idiot. But I'm close. I'll keep working on it.

• Two is not always better than one. (i.e. broken kneecaps)

• I am terribly afraid of being chased up the stairs, but not down them.

• Don't walk in the road. If I hit you with my car, I'm not the one who's going to have a broken pelvis.
  

Homosexuals haven't killed me yet.

Right now, somewhere in the world, some homosexuals are having homosexual sex. Now here's the kicker: I'm still not dead.

Yeah, I know. Weird. Gay sex is happening right now, and it hasn't killed me. What gives?

Honestly, if you really listened to some of these uptight conservatives, you'd think that gay marriage and gay sex were the number one causes of death and famine in the world. Turns out they're wrong.

I can't believe that something that doesn't really affect anyone has become such a massive point of contention. Countless millions of dollars have been spent on the political scene trying to pass, or avoid passing, bills, propositions, and constitutional amendments.

Seriously?!?! A constitutional amendment? Again, I must reiterate, homosexual sex is occurring right now, and aside from giving me leverage in this particular argument, it isn't affecting me at all. Or you for that matter.

I'm so curious as to what people think will happen if we "allow" gay marriage. "Oh, we can't have that, because it will change the definition of marriage, as a union between a man and a woman." Bullshit. First of all, if an institution that you consider sacred and important is somehow sullied because people you don't like can do it too, mayhaps you should re-evaluate your convictions.

For example, I know that the LDS Church and the Catholic Church don't exactly see eye-to-eye on things. However, both of them take a sacrament of sorts. Sure, they have different names for them, but it's pretty much the same thing. I don't think that people from either religion would view their ritual as less important simply because the other religion does something similar.

Secondly, just because heterosexual marriage and homosexual marriage are a little bit different, doesn't mean that the definition of marriage is going to get all thrown out of whack. Peanut butter cookies are different from chocolate chip cookies, but they're both cookies. We haven't created a new name and definition for each cookie variation. Sure, each one is a little bit different, but they all taste delicious when you put them in your mouth. (Insert your favorite dirty joke here.)

I have actually heard the argument that allowing gay marriage would eventually lead to Churches being forced into performing homosexual ceremonies, although I can't imagine why. One of America's founding prinicples was religious freedom. If your religion's clubhouse has a "No Gay's Allowed" sign out in front, that's their right as an American institution, and no one can convince me otherwise.

I'm also confused about people who are concerned that the existence (and acceptance) of homosexual behavior is going to somehow corrupt society. If you are so concerned about being persuaded by other people's behavior, maybe you should think about trying to be less of a dumbass. If you're concerned that your children are going to be persuaded by other people's behavior, maybe you should think about being a better parent.

What people do in the privacy of their own home is their business. Consenting adults have the right to do what makes them happy. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of getting it on, even if it's with a person of the same sex. (Go America.)