Random Thoughts

• I think black licorice is a joke on the part of candy companies, because it tastes less like candy, and more like nasty crap.


• Don't talk to me in the restroom. My list of "People I Talk to While My Pants Aren't On" is short, and you are not on it.


• Fake sugar would be a better idea if it tasted anything like real sugar.


• The best place to stand and chat in a large group is the narrowest part of the hallway. Oh wait.


• I don't hate haircuts, I just hate small talk. And people.


• Are all Scientologists celebrities?

• Put your Confederate flag away. The Confederacy stood for crappy things like slavery and secession. Plus you lost.

• Contrary to popular belief, I am not a complete idiot. But I'm close. I'll keep working on it.

• Two is not always better than one. (i.e. broken kneecaps)

• I am terribly afraid of being chased up the stairs, but not down them.

• Don't walk in the road. If I hit you with my car, I'm not the one who's going to have a broken pelvis.