You Have to Have Gay Sex...

....if you're going to be gay.

Okay, maybe I jumped the gun a little.  Sorry, it's my first time, and I'm nervous.  Seriously, this never happens to me.

So, I've been thinking.  We as people identify ourselves as many things.  Race, religion, political beliefs, and even hobbies.  (I'm a gamer, and I pretend to be a basketball player, mountain biker, and writer.)  But it seems one of the things we identify most with is our sexuality.  It's very core to who we are as people, not only whether we identify with the feminine or the masculine, but also which group we find ourselves sexually attracted to.

I am a heterosexual.  (It's not a choice, I was born this way.)  I find myself attracted to women, and I've mentioned at least once on this blog that boobs are the greatest thing ever.  Couldn't explain it to you though.  It's just the way I am, deep down into the core of my being.  I love women.

However, it was a long time before I had my first full out sexual encounter with a woman.  (No, I'm not going to tell you how long.  No, I'm not going to tell you who it was.)  Up until that point, I had still considered myself a heterosexual.  But should I have?

As children, we are pretty much asexual.  We don't really understand the concept, and we haven't really begun to develop those kinds of feelings for the opposite (or same) sex.  As I progressed through puberty, into Junior High and High School, I started noticing girls, and having those desirous and sexual feelings about them.  But how could I possibly consider myself as heterosexual without actually having had sex with any of them?

Consider this: I've often thought about being a stunt driver.  I like cars, I like stunts, and I like to think I might have a bit of a knack for it.  However, I have never done stunts in a car.  No one would ever refer to me as a stunt driver.  Why?  Well, because I'm not.  Thinking about something does not that thing make.

I've thought about being in the Olympics.  But it would be ludicrous to call me an Olympian.  (Especially considering how fat I am.)  I've thought about being a filmmaker.  But I don't have any films that I've created.  (Yeah, not even that one from college.  I lost it.)  I've thought about being a superhero.  Yeah, I don't think I need to continue.  (I am a superhero though, so fuck you guys.)

I bring this up because of a religious idea I heard recently: "It alright for you to be gay, as long as you don't act upon your impulses."  Basically, be as gay as you want, just don't do any gay things, namely having man on man sex.  (Or woman on woman.  Hot.)

How exactly does one be something, without doing the things inherent to what that is?  You can go ahead and be a painter, you just can't use a brush to place paint on a canvas in the way you want.  Got it.  Oh wait.

I have some serious issues with this.  One is the idea that you can tell someone they can be something, but in the same breath tell them they can't do the activities associated with that something.  "You can be a boxer if you want Timmy, you just can't train, or fight anyone."  "Sure Reginald, you can be an astronaut, as long as you don't go to space."  It's disingenuous at best and downright emotional abuse at worst.  Fuck that shit.

Another is the concept of defining who we are by our thoughts alone.  I don't want to be arrested for assault just because I thought about punching some guy in the face for being a dick.  That's some serious 1984 shit there, and I am having none of that.

But my ultimate question here is why are we allowed to identify our sexuality based purely on our thoughts and feelings, not on our actions like is done with everyone else?  Is there anything else like this?  Or is this just a random exception to the rule?  Because unless we have good reason for feeling this way, maybe we should take a deeper look at it.

Anyway, doin' it and homos and whatnot.    ....yeah.