Can we be selfless?

There is no such thing as a purely selfless act.

Okay, I take that back. That's a pretty audacious statement, even for me. There are much better people out there than me, both in general, and in the fields of charity and philanthropy. Perhaps they understand this concept better than I.

I, however, lack the luxury of that understanding. This is a concept that I struggle with on a daily basis, and one that only increases in perplexity at times when I'm involved in some type of charitable act.

My curiosity about this regards both motivation and reward. Does it count as volunteer work if you're getting paid while you do it? Can you make a charitable donation if you're deeply agitated when giving away your money? Does it even matter? Does selflessness depend upon a persons motivations in order for it to count? Or is it a more machiavellian situation, where the end justifies the means, and that's all that matters.

I suppose that any type of benefaction is beneficial and welcomed by those in need of assistance. I highly doubt that those in need would turn away money simply because the conveyor was upset about parting with it. But is that enough? It is enough for us as human beings to know that we helped someone, even if it pains us to do it?

The thing that truly disturbs me, in my own personal experience, is the good feeling I get from doing works of charity. This may sound somewhat contradictory, but I assure you it's not. I like to think that I'm donating because I want to help people. Were that the case, I would say it was a noble act. However, upon doing so, I feel good about myself, and am happy that I'm a good person. My fear is, do I only contribute to charity to make myself feel good? If so, it would make my act quite selfish.

Selfishness is not necessarily a negative thing. We are all programmed to be selfish. We have a distinct, inherent desire to do what is best for ourselves. This seems to be something built-in to all life as a mechanism to ensure survival.

But my concern is motivation and reward. If one is motivated to make a donation simply because they want to feel good about themselves, and are thusly rewarded by said good feeling, then I submit that they are performing a selfish act. Sure, the act is still beneficial. Perhaps a poor family is able to have a hot dinner due to that contribution, and I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone who would argue against that, regardless of the motivation. But that's not going to score you any positive points on the cosmic good/bad scale, supposing such a thing exists.

Perhaps these issues are inconsequential. A good act is a good act is a good act, as they say. But perhaps they're not. Perhaps our motivations and reasons for the things we do are of the utmost consequence.

And this is what concerns me.