Freak Dang Shoot

The only difference between fake swearing and real swearing, is that fake swearing makes you sound like a little bitch.

Seriously, if you don't like swearing, fine. Don't swear. Totally cool. Swearing isn't for everyone. I'm all too aware that people don't like swearing, and I check myself in inappropriate places, like at work, or around children.

But if you're opposed to swearing in general, why would you use substitute terms which mean the exact same thing?

I suppose you can ask yourself what your opposition to swearing is, but ultimately it doesn't matter. If your problem is the vulgarity of the terms, (which I think it should be) then what would compel you to reproduce the vulgar meaning with a different sound? You should avoid the terminology all together.

For example, I find racial slurs to be abhorrent. I think any term that is used to describe an entire group of people in a negative way, on the basis of nothing more than that they are different, is a despicable thing. So I don't use the terms. I also don't use "alternate" terms that are "less offensive." Changing a couple of letters doesn't make it suddenly okay. I can proudly say that I've never referred to a black person as a "niffer."

If your problem is because you don't like the sound of the word, but aren't actually opposed to the meaning, then I am at a loss. The sound you hear is quite inconsequential. Language, after all, is arbitrary. We have made up these guttural sounds and attributed meanings to them. A person with no knowledge of English would not be offended by English swear words because they have no meanings associated with those sounds. The offense from a word should be due to the negative meanings you associate with it, not the sound you hear.

Am I guilty of using these fake swear words? Well, yes. But not because I'm concerned about actual swear words. When I'm with close friends or family, I let loose and swear to my hearts content. But when I'm in the presence of people who I know will be offended by "real" swear words, I'll tone it down.

Why? Well, just because I think that a "fake" swear word is as powerful as a "real" one, doesn't mean I'm right. It's simply my opinion. Likewise, it is the opinion of some of these people that "fake" swear words are perfectly acceptable, pretty much anywhere. When in Rome.

That being said, knock it off. If you don't like swearing, don't do it. Otherwise, if you're gonna say fuck, just make it happen.